Take A Bow

And so, my friends, we come to the untimely end of my journey. After a lot of praying and thinking, debating and talking, I’ve decided to come home. It wasn’t the easiest choice to make, but once I decided, I felt at peace immediately.

The reasons for my leaving Taylor Made early are numerous, interlaced, and a little fuzzy. Attribute my departure to the fact that I do not want to find myself working in the Thoroughbred industry for the rest of my life. I knew that in this business, everything must come down to the bottom dollar, but I probably underestimated it. There is something precious to me when I can spend time with each individual horse and truly know their personalities, or even allow them to have personalities. Give me time to spoil each horse and create a trust. That’s worth any dollar amount to me.

Adding to the hardship is the stress of the internship. Daily work was fine, even dealing with difficult people shouldn’t have been that hard. Honestly, this internship wasn’t any harder than anything I may have experienced in my previous work experiences. What made it difficult was the lack of my support system. Yes, you. You, reading this blog, play a central role in keeping me sane and calm. My church, my family, my man, my horse… they are all vastly important to me. Remove those resources from me, and I realize how little I can handle in a decent manner.

True, I will not get a recommendation from Taylor Made. And I may not be able to put this work experience on my resume`. I changed plans midway and paid a decent amount of money for it. I let a couple people down and worried others that my decision was a mistake.

Also very true, I feel happy again. I can return to what matters most to me. I am two steps closer to really knowing where I want my life to go. And I’m ready to meet this new chapter of my life with my full faculties.

Maybe Taylor Made didn’t turn out to be the magnificent adventure I had always hoped for. But that matters little to me. No adventure is worth it if I can’t find a way to stay happy throughout it. As a friend put it, it's not enough to know what you want. It's just as important to know what you don't want.